One Whole year

From a Facebook post I wrote---

It's been a year.  ONE WHOLE YEAR since I found a grapefruit size mass in my chest. 

What a ride it's been. 

I remember how last year around this time I was so itchy-- I had bruises all over my legs from itching so hard, but everything else itched too.  I remember that when I laughed really hard I would wheeze.  When I ran really hard I would wheeze. I had a cough that would not quit, my chest would hurt, and my left arm had a aching pain that would surge through it.  I had excuses for everything. I had seen many doctors and I kept telling them that I didn't feel right.  They kept giving me reasons why and things to try. Nothing really worked.  I remember asking one doctor if it could be cancer--  My bloodwork looked fine, so nope, not cancer.

So glad that I was inspired to see Dr. Christensen and pushed by my friends to get some answers.

He saw that I was frustrated and embarrassed for going to the doctor so much.  He wanted to help.  So we started by doing every test he could think of for "pruritus" which is itching without a rash. For some reason a chest x-ray was on that list.  I thank God that we did that chest x-ray that day. 

Now here I am today....  cancer free. 

Yes, it could come back.  Yes, my risk for other cancers is higher now.  Yes, I will always worry. 

Yes, there's lots of side effects, and I'm still finding whats the new normal for me.  Most of the time I feel like my body aged 30 years, but I'm making small and steady strides towards where I once was.  I'm accepting the fact that I may not ever run as fast as I used to and that's OK.  I can work hard and try.  My body has gone through a lot and I'm so thankful for it toughing it out.

It's been amazing how much I have learned from this experience. 

For one- I'm not as afraid of needles as I once was!  Ha-ha. 

But really-- I learned how great people are.  In a world so full of craze and differentiating opinions, gossip and hate--- people come together and help each other out.   We all know what something sucky feels like and we really don't want people to have to go through it alone. 

I've also learned a lot about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  I always heard it wasn't just for sinners, but I never put into practice the suffering part of it.  Sometimes life just isn't unfair.  I didn't ask for cancer.  I didn't want it.  But I came closer to Heavenly Father and Christ because of it.  If I had a rough day, I knew that I could pray and be comforted just enough to make it through until the next time.

I know I said it a million times, but there was no way I could have done it without my friends, my husband Brett, family, neighbors, my ward (church group,) and my other HL homies.

Thank you for supporting me and my family and helping to lighten the load.  Now do me a favor and go help out someone!  Send a text to a friend you haven't heard from in a while,  buy an extra treat and drop it off at a neighbor's house, smile and say hi instead of hurry and pass by, help a struggling mother in the store instead of pretending you didn't see..go and Brighton someone's day.  #Brightonaday

We are on this earth together. We all have our own battle we're fighting.