Chemo #4

Smells are so bad.  If I get a whiff of anything that smells the least bit like the hospital I go to, I get nauseous.  

The night before I was so nervous, but my mom and I went to Tj Maxx before closing and that helped take my mind off things.  Retail therapy. It works. 

I took something to help with my anxiety so I could sleep, and I slept most the night!  Usually I don't sleep the nights before Chemo.  

The morning of though, I was a wreck.  I really just was frustrated and sad and so over doing this (Sad because there's people out there that are always doing chemo.)  

I got situated in my "pod" and the assistant took my vitals and could see I was having a rough time.  The old man and woman next to me were packing up and started talking to me.  They told me that they were sorry that I had to be here with all these old people, but good luck.  The old guy had been trying to beat cancer for 10 years! (And here I am stuck in the "Poor me's.")  Then they told me that their daughter had just been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and that she's trying to beat through it since she's pretty young.     Now why was I crying??????  

This cancer is the one to have.  Doesn't mean that it will be a walk in the park, but results usually are great with treatment.  

After waiting the forever it takes to get the medicines (or chemicals) ready  the really nice nurse put them in me and it took longer because the pain/burning is getting worse.  They slow it down and mix it with saline to help with that.   The nurse I had today has definitely been my favorite so far.  She could tell I was not really happy to be there too, so she made it as pleasant as possible.

While sitting in the chair I usually start to feel woozy and today was just the same.

On the ride home I was fine but once I got home I started to feel really sick.  It was a lot like round #1.  Nasty flu symptoms.   It's hard for me to watch movies, read, sleep, or do anything.  So I usually just lay there waiting it off.  The hours crawlllllll.  

Here I am 9 days later and I finally feel more like me.  It was a rough go this round.  I went into the doctor yesterday because I swear that I had some kind of infection.  Turns out I get a really bad stomach ache before the storm is "over."

Earlier this week I went and had an ultrasound done on my left arm veins.  They found three blood clots!  They are superficial, blood is still pumping, but the just hurt really bad.  After talking with the nurse and doctor, they thought it was best that I go ahead and get the port since my veins are hating me right now.

SOOOO, that's what I'm going to go do today.  Get a port.  Hopefully I won't regret this!