The Port Removal

No joke,  I was excited about this surgery.   For one- It's another step of moving beyond cancer, and two- the happy meds.  Haha.

Too bad I had to beg for the happy meds because they said that this surgery is much more simple than getting it placed (and I thought.... you just don't feel bad for me because I'm not undergoing chemo right now... haha)  My thoughts were that I'm the patient, I've met my out of pocket max for insurance, give me a little happy stuff so I'm not nervous.

They did, the surgery was indeed simple and fast, and we were all happy.

I still have a very hard time going up to the Cancer Institute.  It's like if I even think of that place I get nauseated.  I also need to tell someone that they need to change what they use to clean the bathrooms.  It stinks.  It's a very different smell and when I used their bathrooms I have to hold my nose closed the whole time (no joke.)  It's weird how your mind and body prepare you for something even if it's not going to happen.


Here's a picture of my little port friend.  It was good to me and I'm very glad I got it.  It made it a lot more do able.  My arm veins cried "thank you" each time I didn't have to get chemo through one of them.

And here's a little update of my hair---  front and back.  I'm finding lot's of crazy cal-licks! 

Best News Ever!!!!

I'm CANCER FREE!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT WOOT!  SOOOOO HAPPY!

I met with my doctor today to discuss the results from my scan.  I don't think I was ever as ready to walk into the cancer hospital as I was today.  I had my port accessed for the last time to get lab work done and then they made me wait an HOUR to meet with the doctor.  I was so fidgety and ready to hear the results.   Apparently they forgot about me because when I reminded them, they got me back asap.  I guess when you are towards the end of your treatment they put you on the back burner (remember how they forgot about my last chemo appt?)  hahaha.

Justine, who is my favorite--- she is the girl who always takes me back, was so fun to talk to as usual.  I'm glad that they hire such fun and happy people.  It really helps.  I've learned to remember to say thanks when people are great and happy to do their job.  I think it helps them on days where it's hard.

When the Dr. came in, I told him I was nervous and he said  "There's nothing for you to be nervous about, it looks great."  I guess it wasn't the "HOORAY YOU'RE CANCER FREE!" that I was expecting, but i'll take it.  He talks to several patients daily and has to give good news and bad news,  so I'm sure that's why he puts on a game face.  I'm glad he's smart and good at his job!

In hindsight I probably should have asked him to get in on my happy dance! HAHA.

We looked at the scans and he explained why it still looks like I have a little tumor (scar tissue), but it's not cancerous.  He also told me that my white blood count is still low, but it's rising!  My thymus glad was a little swollen, which is normal for my age and what I went through.  He wants to do a CT scan in 6 months just to make sure something didn't change with that.

So I set up an appointment for blood work and a visit with my doc in 3 months!  HOORRRAYYYY!

Next step is to get this port out!  I thought it would be months until I got this litte thingamajigger out, but nope!  I get it out in 2 days!  Whooop whoop!

(Que Destiny's Child-- "I'm a Survivor" and have your own dance party.)

Here's a picture of me when I first met with Dr. Sweetenham vs. the day I was told I was cancer free! Hair vs. no hair.  (About 7 months apart)

Here are my scans all lined up by eachother.  

Peace out cancer! 

HAPPY DANCE TIME!  

Remember to smile! Life is great and a smile is a little gesture that could help someone a long way!

Nail biting and Nerviosa

Had my PET scan today.  This sums up how I am feeling.

Scanxiety. 

 

As my bro Tyler would say "Nailed it."

Life Since Chemo

It's been 4 weeks since my last chemo treatment and I am pleased to say that I FEEL GREAT!

It's so nice to do my 'normal' things like play with my kids and take them to the park, run (even though it's a really really really slow run), go to church, visit family, and run some errands.

I feel like I have more energy, but I still get worn out easily.  Naps are my friend. The dry mouth is still there and strong. I'm still hot flashin like crazy--but at least the weather is getting cooler!  I have really bad swelling in my hands and feet and I have gained a lot of weight.

I'm almost off all of my meds! yippee!  I still take something to help me sleep and take the anxiety away, but hopefully I won't have to do that for forever.

I have to remind myself (especially when exercising) to be patient.  I need to let my body heal and work up to it.

It's nice to see that my kids are -still crazy-  but better emotionally.  Sadie is okay to leave me on occasion and she seems to be in better spirits.   I hoped and prayed that this would be a learning and a character building experience for her.

But really,  Life is so good.  God is good.  I'm in such a good place right now.  It's crazy to see that I really was in a hard place for a long time (even before my diagnosis) and to see where I have gone.  Going through something hard can really make you see and be thankful for all the little things in life.



Here is a hair update--  It's coming in a lot thicker and coarser.  I'm not sure if it's darker because I always bleached it!

Did I ever mention that we are going to NC and Disney World in a couple weeks?! wahoo!  

I went to dinner with some cousins and they had me let a balloon out of the sky window in honor of finishing chemo.  Fun! 

Celebrate good times

Disneyworld.  It's scheduled.  So excited to go there over Thanksgiving!  We will be going to NC first, then driving down to Florida with all but one brother and his family on my side.  I am SO excited.  

Chemo 12: LAST ONE

My friends and neighbors gathered outside to surprise me AGAIN with a send off for my last chemo. Such a sweet thing and means so much to me. 

My mom came with me for this one.  I wanted her to see what it was like and experience it with me.

On our way up we saw a peacock-- that's got to be good luck of  some kind.

Got to the check in desk-- my appointment wasn't in the system! Are you kidding me? For my last one?! Luckily, it wasn't a big issue, they just called my nurse to make sure I was in need of chemo that day and fit me right in.  

It went fast. I got to ring the gong.  (They forgot to give me a certificate for completing chemo-- oh well.)  And then---It was so nice to get out of there!  Even though I felt gross, I couldn't stop smiling as I walked out of the building.  PEACE OUT!   

I know that there is a chance that I could be back, but as for right now, I'm going to live as if I'm Cancer free until I'm told otherwise!    Time to PARTAY!  

Next up-  Girls weekend, Halloween, parties, North Carolina, Holden Beach, Disney World then My scan first week in December. 

....and yes, I did do a happy dance once I got home.  Brett said that I was weird and didn't want to do it with me.  Ha. 

Whirlwind

I'm laying in bed on the night before my last chemo treatment and I can't put a finger on how exactly I feel.  

It's been a long day coming and I thought I would be more than thrilled for this moment!

I can't help but worry that this was enough or that it will come back or that this chemo session will be awful like some a few months ago. 

I realize that I can't control what's going to happen, but I can't help but worry!  It's probaby the nightly anxiety talking.  Hopefully in the morning I'll be more ready for this!

I do know that God is over all.  Everything will work out in the end---even if the end is not in this life!